It’s finally happened! I have a new love in my life!!!
She’s petite and easy on the eyes. She is very intelligent and technologically savvy. She seems to have an uncanny ability to find out what I like and to give it to me. She shows initiative and does stuff for me even without asking. I am starting to get confidence that she can fulfill all my needs and desires.
Her name is TiVo.
Last night I had a blind date. It was notable only because I made the cardinal sin of not checking my calendar before setting the date and I forgot that the Broncos were playing their season opener on Sunday night on ESPN at about the same time as I was supposed to be taking this woman out for coffee. Most women, not understanding the import of football, would not appreciate a guy they’ve never met telling them they can’t go out because of a game on tv. (Naturally my goal is to find a woman who is at least willing to learn and accept my order of priorities. My first wife knew that I loved her dearly, but she also knew that for about 16-20 Sundays from September – January, my heart belonged to 53 hairy, sweaty guys in tight pants.)
Six weeks ago, this would have meant a major disaster. I would have had to video tape the game, hope it did not run long, wait until the game was completely over and then rewind the tape and watch. I probably would not have gotten to sleep till 3 am. But last night I got home at about halftime and started watching the game while it continued to record. I was able to fast forward through the commercials, halftime and other nonsense and ended up finishing the game only about 20 minutes after it was over. I was in bed by 12:30. G-d it was good!!!!
I know what you’re thinking; there are certain things a woman could do that TiVo cannot. But when you consider some of the late night offerings on Cinemax and Showtime, TiVo can pretty much get me most of the way there. I have no idea how I managed to survive for 33 years, 10 months and 8 days without this most wonderful of G-d’s creations.
Her name is TiVo.
Last night I had a blind date. It was notable only because I made the cardinal sin of not checking my calendar before setting the date and I forgot that the Broncos were playing their season opener on Sunday night on ESPN at about the same time as I was supposed to be taking this woman out for coffee. Most women, not understanding the import of football, would not appreciate a guy they’ve never met telling them they can’t go out because of a game on tv. (Naturally my goal is to find a woman who is at least willing to learn and accept my order of priorities. My first wife knew that I loved her dearly, but she also knew that for about 16-20 Sundays from September – January, my heart belonged to 53 hairy, sweaty guys in tight pants.)
Six weeks ago, this would have meant a major disaster. I would have had to video tape the game, hope it did not run long, wait until the game was completely over and then rewind the tape and watch. I probably would not have gotten to sleep till 3 am. But last night I got home at about halftime and started watching the game while it continued to record. I was able to fast forward through the commercials, halftime and other nonsense and ended up finishing the game only about 20 minutes after it was over. I was in bed by 12:30. G-d it was good!!!!
I know what you’re thinking; there are certain things a woman could do that TiVo cannot. But when you consider some of the late night offerings on Cinemax and Showtime, TiVo can pretty much get me most of the way there. I have no idea how I managed to survive for 33 years, 10 months and 8 days without this most wonderful of G-d’s creations.
posted by Bronco Buddha at 11:38 PM
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